So behind

I'm so behind on my blog, behind in my house work, behind in my church calling, behind in being a good mom . . . just. so. behind. I don't know what's happening to my body lately but I am consumed by whatever this is, this illness, this deficiency. I'm in constant pain, I'm always tired, nauseated, dizzy, lightheaded . . . .  Every doctor visit feels like a new diagnosis. But, they all boil down to no one knows what's happening to me and I am so very frustrated! What started as migraines led to an MRI which led to a diagnosis of sinus pressure due to retention cyst in my nasal cavities. All my hopes of relief was pinned on the ENT "he is going to cure me." The blessed appointment day finally arrived and the doctor was in the room for two whole minutes and the entire time just explained how these cysts had nothing to do with my pain. And sent me straight back to my PCP. After more lab work, I have now been diagnosed with Anemia and was given ferrous sulfate to help build my blood back up. Three weeks later, with no improvement, Tyler researched and found that due to a previous surgery I don't absorb ferrous sulfate. It had been a total waste of time and a waste of money. The new iron that I need . . . well it's $100 a month. Honestly, the price doesn't even bother me at this point. It's much cheaper than my repetitive trips to the ER, urgent care, PCP co pays, and multiple Rx that they have told me to take. So, again my hopes are pinned on a diagnosis, a cure - IRON. Get as much as I can and as quick as I can and MAYBE, just maybe the symptoms will clear up.
In the meantime, I have jeopardized my job with absences, been treated with pain pills and then treated like a drug addict, and WORSE than anything . . . I feel like my children have been neglected. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband and mother who have stepped up to fill in where I have fallen off.
So . . . tomorrow . . . tomorrow is a new day a new prescription and a new hope for a cure. A hope at being my self again, a hope to be the Mom I want to be again. And part of being this Mom means I will be updating my blog. Even through the pain and fatigue I have not forgotten my camera. If nothing else, my children will have photos of their childhood, even if I'm not in a single one.